When life handed me a harsh new reality, it took me a while to come to the surface and start moving forward. I learned survival skills— either sink or swim.

One of the first lifesavers I grabbed was to live in the moment. In those early months, as debilitating realizations threatened to pull me under, I barely breathed. I was in shock. I couldn't remember things I usually would have remembered. It reminded me a lot of the early days when my baby girl died in her sleep, although that was by far worse.

As I came up for air and started trying to swim in my new reality, I learned to focus on the present moment. I didn't look back. I couldn't look forward. I held on desperately to the lifesaver of choosing to put myself fully into the moment I faced.

In those early days of separation from my husband as I tried to move past the paralyzing grief, a counselor encouraged me to try to accomplish three things a day. For whatever reason, this was the only bit of advice she gave I grabbed. It was useful, and for a time, it helped me to keep from drowning in all the difficult decisions I had to make.

I learned I had to accept the unsettled. I craved stability. I tended to do things early--to get things done as soon as possible. So whether it was paying a bill or whatever, I did it sooner rather than later. My new reality didn't allow for this in many instances. I tried to clear my credit for months, disputing a medical bill turned over to a collection agency by no fault of my own.

I gained even more experience accepting the unsettled through the divorce process. I treaded water for the longest time, enduring agonizing hours to get free from a heartbreaking marriage. Illness and all sorts of unforeseen delays hindered me from swimming free.

I learned the hard way I didn't want debt. My ex-husband handled all the finances--I knew from experience debt would pull me under. I learned to manage my budget and live within it. I paid off my car and found exhilaration in doing well with my finances.

When I didn't know how to do something, I learned to "google it"—a necessary life skill in this day and age. This life hack alone was one of the most important takeaways I've had as a newly- divorced woman. By watching videos of skilled swimmers, I even tried to improve my swimming strokes.

I've learned in a very heart-crushing way, the choices we made today determine our future. Of course, this sounded so simple and almost too dumb to repeat, but the truth was weighty. I learned to show up for the life I had. Sitting on the sideline wasn't an option.

Every day, no matter how sad or weak I felt, I got out of bed and tried to make choices that moved me forward-- that contributed to my health and happiness. I got up, showered, and read my Bible no matter what.

For a time, I worked out at a gym but gave that up when I realized I needed to get outside—no matter the weather. I walked almost every day. I started jumping on the trampoline sometimes for fun with my grandchildren and often for exercise to build my muscles and bones. When the weather was warm, I headed to the beach and swam in the ocean. I worked to improve my swimming technique--my aim to become a stronger swimmer.

Swimming in the ocean happened to be one of my favorite things. I determined to learn to swim well and move with less effort and experience the exhilaration of the swim. These life hacks gave me buoyancy and propelled me forward into the open waters of my future.